You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Randomize
