Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
not ubering you a puppy
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
