Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
