WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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