did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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