wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
