Porn is love you can see.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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