it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
