I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
