# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
