do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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