I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
