You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
