They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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