We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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