youre lurking in front of me
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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