So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
