she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Randomize