Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
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