To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
