why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
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Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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