i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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