The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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