we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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