so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize