Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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