we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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