He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
So vagazzling was a success
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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