yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
