omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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