Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
