I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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