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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i came on her dog
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
