I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
