Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
