I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
