you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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