Sry I called you an 8
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
