how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
