yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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