Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
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I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
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NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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