like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
