Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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