i don't plan on having that self control this summer
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
