i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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