those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Randomize
