under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
