Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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