I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
