Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Randomize
