Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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