Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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