physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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