am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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