Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
