it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize
