I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize