My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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