Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i would one night stand the shit outta him
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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