we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
It's rum buckets o'clock
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
