Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
It's rum buckets o'clock
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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