My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
