going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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